Last night Hetee was sitting at the dinner table talking to Nate and Abi as they finished their supper. Nate said something funny and Hetee looked at Abi and said, "Abi, you have the craziest brother." Abi replied, "Actually, Nate is the gentlemanest man I know."

Sweet!

This lead to a conversation about how Nate shows Abi he loves her. He said he shows his love for her by hugging her, protecting her and letting her ride on his back.

Happiness and Suffering

Hetee and I attended a wedding today at one of our mission churches. We have an interesting little tradition at our church weddings called the "tea ritual". We had it at our wedding and I think it's pretty neat.

It goes like this: After the vows, an old cracked bowl filled with bitter, black tea is brought to the couple and they each take a sip in turn. The tea represents the suffering they will encounter as they live their lives together as a married couple. They repeat after the minister and promise that they will share in one another's suffering and therefore it will decrease.

Then a beautiful, real silver bowl filled with milk is brought out and also shared by the couple. It represents the happiness they will encounter as a couple. Again, they repeat the words of the minister and assure each other that any happiness they share will increase.

I've seen the tea ritual performed many times before but, today it really got me to thinking about how it has been true in my life. For example, yesterday I wrote a post complaining about my day and within a few hours I received encouraging notes from friends to let me know I was not alone. I felt better immediately. My "suffering" (I use quotation marks because I know the suffering I referred to in my post is nothing compared to the suffering some are facing) decreased.

What about sharing happiness? It is so true that if you share in someone's happiness it increases! Hetee and I have seen this many times throughout our marriage. We stand, always ready to share in one another's happy moments, no matter how small they may seem.

One thing about sharing happiness that comes to mind is the way Hetee is overjoyed when I eat something Mexican. He knows how much I love and miss the food so he goes out of his way to understand and feel my joy. And he doesn't make gagging noises, no matter how weird it is.

Like today, a friend brought me 2 fresh corn on the cob, grown somewhere locally. All she could get at the time was 2 so Hetee refused to have any. Instead he watched me as I slathered them in butter and chile and enjoyed them all by myself.

Then today, after the wedding, we were in the grocery store getting some snacks for the 2-hour drive home when he spotted Swiss Miss hot chocolate. He knows how much I like it so it made him really happy to be able to buy it for me. And imagine my joy when we found the green jasmine tea he had been looking all over for but couldn't find anywhere. And I can't stand the stuff.

As I sat at the dinner table tonight, next to my empty corn cobs, picking my teeth and contemplating the many other ways we have shared each others happiness and sufferings, I thought about how all the experiences we have shared in the past almost 6 years have served to bring us closer together. Childbirth, my niece's kidnapping and murder, grandparents' deaths, his brother's divorce, business failures, business successes, church and ministry successes, ah, way too many to mention.

Looking back over the years, I can clearly see how sharing the joys and the sorrows made all the difference in our marriage. Two people can be as different as night and day but when they decide to share their partner's happiness and suffering, their lives unite in perfect harmony.

Hetee, taking a sip of milk during our tea ritual

I remember once, not long after we were married, Hetee called me from the train station to let me know he had lost his wallet with his debit card and about $70.00. He was distraught. I was mad. But at that moment I felt strongly compelled to "share his suffering". I let the anger go and just listened. Now, over 5 years later, he still refers back to that very incident and my reaction when we counsel new couples. He says that he felt like a total loser and if I had reacted in anger he would have felt a lot worse. He said that I helped him realize that it could have happened to anyone and that it wasn't such a big deal. You see, when you share someone's suffering you acknowledge that the very same thing could have happened to you. There's no room for finger pointing.

Today, as I watched the young couple go through the tea ritual, I prayed a prayer that they would come to experience the joy of sharing happiness and sorrow.

This morning Kenny threw up on my head and woke me up. My day pretty much went downhill from there.

Nate was obstinate and Abi was cranky. Kenny wanted no one, but momma.

I dared not bake anything. With my track record I was doomed for failure.

When I finally got around to getting online, I discovered that some anonymous person left me a poo poo comment on this blog. I started to answer it then I decided to let it go. To the trash can that is.

I have another mouth ulcer and I'm seriously craving uninterrupted sleep. Like a month's worth.

If you get a minute, please lift me up before the Lord. I hate complaining but it feels so good sometimes and well, it's my blog so I can complain if I want to.

Precious Baby Feet

This picture of Kenny's feet was taken when he was about 3 weeks old. I still can't believe he's walking and even starting to talk. Here are some words he's saying:
Mama
Dada
Hot
Nay Nay (Nate)
Ania (he calls Abi that. It's Mongolian for 'big sister')
Za (means ok in Mongolian)
Us (water in Mongolian)
Dog

What's making me smile these days...

1. Watching Kenny walk
   
2. Seeing my friend, Amanda after 2 years and knowing that she'll be living in UB now and not Chicago!
3. Another wedding at church
   
4. Sharing a plate of spicy chicken and peanuts with Hetee and Amanda
5. Finding mango concentrate at the market and making a yummy smoothie
6. Baking bread
7. Babies!
8. Hearing Nate recite his scripture verses
9. Hearing Abi say, "You're the beautifulest mommy ever in the world"
10. My comfy pajama pants at bedtime
11. My mom and I sewing for the kids
12. Our Church's new praise and worship album is out!
13. Coffee cake
14. Good health
15. Hetee being in a car accident and NO ONE getting hurt!
    

What's been making you smile?