That's the word I was looking for. Gloomy describes how I've been feeling the past couple weeks. At first I chocked it up to PMS, or whatever. But then I realized that the feeling had been creeping up on me for months.
You may recall that I mentioned a while back that Hetee and I really needed to take a vacation. Lately that's become a priority. We need to get away. We need more than just a simple vacation; we need to reconnect. We desperately need to have uninterrupted conversations and a meaningful, memorable time together.
At the beginning of our marriage, we were so careful to not let ministry take over everything. But somehow, over the years that's exactly what has happened. It's hard not to blame people. When all I want to do is run away from them and their problems. Making myself listen takes a concentrated effort these days. When I go to prepare a sermon, I feel as though I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. The tears and sighs come so easily as does the feeling of wanting to quit. This winter was my 9th one in this country and it has been a long and dreary one.
So, I guess, with all of this I'm asking that you pray for me. Pray for Hetee and me to successfully "get away", not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. That we will find the finances and the right timing. And that we will come back refreshed and able to face the challenges that this year will bring.
3 comments:
Melanie, thank you for this transparent post. I will be lifting you and Hetee before the Father in an even more concentrated way. Isaiah 58:11 "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."
mel, i'm so sorry you are feeling gloomy. i'm praying for you, my friend.
Isaiah 30:15, "In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength."
Praying you receive what you need--time and money--to get away with one another and the Lord. Times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord.
God wants to give you years of effective ministry and that requires rest. Not resting is like a woodcutter who is too busy to sharpen his ax.
Praying for rest and fun and a spirit of playfulness and a relief from your labors. That your hearts and minds and arms might be strengthened for the long-term task ahead.
Bi chamd hartai.
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