That's the word I was looking for. Gloomy describes how I've been feeling the past couple weeks. At first I chocked it up to PMS, or whatever. But then I realized that the feeling had been creeping up on me for months.
You may recall that I mentioned a while back that Hetee and I really needed to take a vacation. Lately that's become a priority. We need to get away. We need more than just a simple vacation; we need to reconnect. We desperately need to have uninterrupted conversations and a meaningful, memorable time together.
At the beginning of our marriage, we were so careful to not let ministry take over everything. But somehow, over the years that's exactly what has happened. It's hard not to blame people. When all I want to do is run away from them and their problems. Making myself listen takes a concentrated effort these days. When I go to prepare a sermon, I feel as though I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. The tears and sighs come so easily as does the feeling of wanting to quit. This winter was my 9th one in this country and it has been a long and dreary one.
So, I guess, with all of this I'm asking that you pray for me. Pray for Hetee and me to successfully "get away", not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. That we will find the finances and the right timing. And that we will come back refreshed and able to face the challenges that this year will bring.