This morning I was reading the Bible in Psalms where David talks about coming to God as a weaned child. I had read that passage many times before but never quite grasped the meaning of the words.
About 2 weeks ago, I weaned my baby. He'll be 2 in June and it was just getting to be "that time". It took a full 7 days of "Sorry, finished" before he finally let go. Then, all of a sudden, it was over. Our nursing relationship was gone. It was bittersweet but I knew it was for the best. I had been nursing/pregnant pretty much for 5 years and I was becoming exhausted. Now, 2 weeks down the road I'm gaining weight and feeling a lot better. And Kenny has grown into a toddler almost overnight!
Our relationship has changed but in a way I didn't expect. We're closer. Before he used to come to me for nourishment. Now, when he comes, it's out of a desire to be near me and feel my presence.
This scene repeats itself a hundred times a day: Dragging his "bobby" (he has a blankie called "bobby", too, just like his big sister), he sidles up to me and asks, with a slight lisp, "Mommy, sit". I oblige and he crawls on my lap just to be with me. After a few minutes of "being", he whispers "buya"(the Mongolian word for "get down"), then off he goes.
Don't get me wrong, I love nursing and the closeness it brings. But I think it's so sweet that during those time of togetherness he doesn't ask me for anything. Not to nurse, not for a cookie or for me to take him outside. He just wants to hang out. With me.
Made me think about my time spent with God. Am I too preoccupied with my needs that I don't spend time just hanging out in His presence? This week I'll be working on coming to God with a meek spirit, and making Him the focus of my prayer time.