Yesterday was "grocery and bills" day for our family. Our August support had come in so we withdrew all of it from the bank and then made our rounds around town.
We paid our tithe, phone, internet, electricity and water bills, sent our monthly contribution to a local missionary family, put about 10% into our savings account, paid the rent, and bought some groceries. This month's support afforded me half of my grocery budget. (About $60.00 went to buying just beef that I still have to trim, grind and package.)
After all was said and done, we had about $8.00 left. And it's not even August yet. Sigh. Nate's birthday is on the 3rd. Sigh.
Can I be honest?
I'm scared. Even though this has happened in the past (it happens often, actually) and God has taken care of us, I still feel my eyes welling up with tears of doubt.
An ever growing list of needs is forever present in the back of my mind. God always provides. He's always faithful and trustworthy. So why do I doubt?
You stand, and tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak, the fiercest of Oceans is still...
This worship song was playing in the car as were running around town yesterday, trying to make the money go where it needed to go and have a little left over.
I was so encouraged by those 2 sentences. I thought, How lucky am I?! To trust God every single day of my life! He has everything under control!
We don't depend on man and we don't depend on the numbers that show up on our online statement every month. We depend on God who does exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or think!
The gas light on the car is still on; we were not able to get gas yesterday. But we are here, where He called us, doing HIS work so, He will fill the gas tank up sooner or later. He always does.
So, I'm not scared anymore.